KeeKee
Mewsss Freya, I is mose honfured to be infurviewed by a reportfur of mewr calibfur. Yes, I gess my name on da tips of many whiskfurs. All da trubble started wen my long loss twin sisfur, Keekella, showed up at Bitsy's Whackers. I not efun node I had a twin sisfur. I still not shure if it true. Whoefur she is, she gots me in all kinds of diffurculties.

Freya
KeeKee, I is glad you brought up dat subject. I haff purrsonally seen messages frum Keekella on the Gurls Message Board. Der wuz even a pichure of her oncst - in a hot tub as I rememfurs.

KeeKee
About da hot tub....I is afurd dat's really me. See, I wuz hanging out at LuvKitty's catnip lounge and I ofur-indulged. I fink it wot costed me da purrsidential election.

Freya
My goodness - being in a hottub costed you yur election. Wat a shame. The BFCC wuz really hoping fur a tax break.

KeeKee
I wud giff all cat clubs a taxes break. I has heared all bout Keekeala too. I unfurstands she look jes like me; but, I too little when I camed here to rememfur if she my sisfur, or not. Mebbe jes a rumor.

Freya
She looks likes yu, KeeKee, juss likes yu. Didn't you sees her cheerleader pichure?

KeeKee
Mewsss Freya....Mebbe she one of doze clowns. Mew noze, I heared about sum hoomins, in England, clowning a sheep. Mebbe dey is clowning kitties, too?

Freya
Well, weather she is clowned or not, Keekella looks likes you. And dat Henrieta looks just likes Henry. I allas thought Henrieta looked familiar. Bitsy did too. Dats why she pulled dat horrid black wig off just befur she tooked dat cheerleader pichure. Henrieta looks like Henry. Keekella looks like you. Just one look at our TV monitors will veriflies dat. In additions, it is said dat you and my own brofurr Henry infiltrated dat Gurls Message Board. How duz you explains all dis incrimonitory facts?

Freya
I rememfurs Henry giggling and whisperin and riting sekret things on dah pooter. He writted you lots of e-males, KeeKee. An yu wroted him lots of e-males. And he'd allas delete dem ledders befur he left da pooter. I even went and looked in dah Recycle Bin but cudn't find any of dem. I juss knows something wuz goin on - and dat yu wuz involved. Yesee or NoNo?

KeeKee
OK, I confesses, me and Hen did infurtrate da gurlz bord; but, dat wuz jes a joke. But we hafed no idea dese gurls wud show up, luking jes like us. Besides, doze gurlz duzn't luk like dey noze da furst fing about baseballs. I fink dey wud raffur spend dere time wearing pink close taking care of doze cute little babies, den swinging bats and spitting in da durt.

Freya
My goodness - wat a coincident. We been haffing KNN repurters on all dis baseball stuff and one juss happened to follow Keekella one day. Yep - dat wuz sure lucky cuz she ... er ... he ... hmm ... wells, Keekella met Henrieta at a park. Dat KNN camerman caught some good footage and I is gonna shows it to you rite now. To sees it juss clicks on dat monitor below.

KeeKee
Mewsss....dat mus be da misterious Keekella, cuz it not me! I neffur purrlayed wiff no babies; and, I duzn't fink dat Henry wud, eifur. OK, I did has to whisker kisses sum babies when I was running fur Purrsident; but dat politics!! Dat Keekella and Henrietta, in da picfur, fur shure.

Freya
Dat sure don't looks like boyz - or sound like boyz. Maybe Keekella really is yur twin sisfur. Maybe Henrieta is Henry's twin. Henry knows nuthin bout his background or his mommy or anything.

KeeKee
Mewsss Freya....wudn't dat be sumfing if boff Hen and me has long loss twin sisfurs. Nobody noze where I comed furm, eifur. But, I still finks doze English hoomins is making clowns outta me and Henry....Anyways, dat my story; and, I'm sticking to it!! ... hehe

Freya
As a journalist I ken not get purrsonally involved wiff my work - BUT I duz likes a good story. And all four of you - or all two of you - whatever - sure makes a good story. I haff LUFFED it all. Barbara and me and offur journalists all luff dat scandal and slander and allegories. Dat is our stock in trade.

But I digest. I wants to menshun somethin bout dat Boyz Protest March. I wills refrain frum making any purrsonal comments bout dat stupid March. But I muss ask about yur protest sign - which sed "Down Wiff Gurls". I knows yu haff LOTS of sisfurs and are gedding more all da time. So, in trooth, purhaps yu were justified in protesting. Tells us, KeeKee. How bad is it? Wat haff driven you to such extreme actions?

KeeKee
Oh mew, where duz I begin! Furs of all, dere's Littlefoot, who finks she da boss of da house. Well, she not da boss of me! Den, dere's Bambi, who eats all my turkeymeat if I duzn't eats if furry fast. Now, to make matfurs werse, dere a new gurl mofed in her. Her name Sara; and, she finks she ken plays wiff my toys, wiffout efun asking me!! I is surrounded by sisfurs!!

Freya
I is curious - on yur homepage I read something dat confuses me. It said dat one of yur favorite things to do is "terrorizing the girls." And dat is a direct quote. Ken you explains dat to me? What things haff you dones to them?

KeeKee
Well, wen I furst mofed in here, I finked dey wuz my meowmie, so I tried to makes dem feed me. Day not liked dat at all. Now, I waits til dey sleeping and I sneaks up real quite and jumps on dem. Dey squeels and runs away....hehe

Freya
Oh - dat's nothing. I duz dat to Henry all the time. It's fun, isn't it? If dats all yu done, no wonder yur Meowmie says you ken be "sweet as a liddle angel".

KeeKee
Yes, I ken be as sweet as shuger. When I wants sumefing, I jes smiles at my meowmie or farfur. Dey say dey nefur seed a kitty smiles like I duz. It takes purractice; but, if wurf it, cuz I gets anyfing I wants. hehe

Freya
Now KeeKee, to anudder subject. You wuz so liddle when yur Meowmie and Daddy tooked you home. Dat pet shop you wuz in - wells, it made me sad to reads 'bout it. Tells us a liddle bout yur early, early days and how dey haff affected you.

KeeKee
Oh mew, Freya, doze were scary days. I not shure how I gots dumped at dat petshop; but, dere was a mean man dere; and, efuryday, he puts dis stuff in da cage fur da kitties to eats. Well, da big kitties dere eated all da stuff; but, nobody teached me how to eats! Da mean man not efun cared dat I wuz starfing. Den, my farfur wented dere to buy sum fishie food and seed me. He say "what dat tiny little orange kitty doing in dat cage?". Mean man telled him I wuz 6 weeks old and eats dis stuff frum a can. Daddy not beliefed dat at all, so he gafed da mean man sum money and puts me in his pocket and taked me home to meowmie. Den dey taked me to V't docfur who say I onliest free weeks old and to buys sum kitty formula. Dey feeded me wiff a dolly bottle. (Don't tells da guys...dat's kinda embarassing). I nefur furgetted dat mean man; and, I still duzn't eats nuffin dat comes outta can. I onliest eats crunchy food.

Freya
Don't you bes ashamed of anyfing frum yur kittyhood. Yu shud be proud yu growed up so big and fine!! Yu gotted rescued by a fine farfur. No wonders yu luff him. I don't haff a farfur - or a daddy either - just my meowmie. So I luffs her dah mostest.

KeeKee
Oh, I sorry mew duzn't has a daddy. I still rememfurs how warm and cozy it was in farfur's shurt pocket.

Freya
You haff an impurrtant duty at yur home - being "Keeper of the Toys". Wiff so many kitties dere most be zillions of toys. Duz you keep dem in some special place? Do you check dem out to yur sisfurs?

KeeKee
Oh yes, dere many, many toys here; and, it my job to manage dem. Dere a toys box; but, I likes to puts dem in diffurent purrlaces and leafs dem dere. Den, I checks to make shure nokitty mofed dem. Sumtimes, meowmie takes dem all and puts dem back in da toys box and brings out da sucky monster. I hates da sucky monster; and, soons she done, I puts my toys back where I wants dem!! Da new gurl, Sara, hafnt learned, yet, to asks me; and, she mofes my toys all ofur da purrlace. Den I growls at her and shows her how big I is.

Freya
Puttin toys away is impurrtant. I do dat - and puts dem under dwressers and sofas and behind doors. I putts my bottle tops in dah wader dish. We haff anudder pichure of yu which skeers me. Yu are doing something reelly dangerous. Goodness, KeeKee, yu cud falls off - easily - and especially if you takes naps up der.

KeeKee
Dat's da bestest purrlace to make shure all my toys jes where I leafed dem. I neffur takes naps up dere; but, one time I falled asleep on da top shelf in da baffroom and rolled off into da hoomin littlerbox. I gots all wet and wuz furry mad. Meowmie and farfur comed running to sees if I wuz OK; and, dey hugged me and maked me walk around to be shure. Den dey laffed at me!! I wuz furry embarrassed about dat. I jes lucky nobody had one of doze camera fings ready!! I wud neffur liff dat down.

Freya
Teehees ... you fell in .... oh hahahaha ... dat is funny, Keek. You is a card. I think you'd be a fun brofur. But I digest. I wants to ask what you loves most to do in dah whole world?

KeeKee
Well, my mose fafurrite fing is purrlaying wiff my toys. I also luffs turkeymeat time. Farfur goze to da delyCATessin and buys me furresh turkeymeat and chops it up fur me and Bambi. Da offur gurls duzn't likes it, so I gets a lot. I jes has to eats mine befur Bambi finds it. I also luffs haning out wiff my buddies at da Trails End Bar; and, when I tired, I luffs to cuddle wiff my farfur.

Freya
Yur farfur and meowmie are strong suppurters of Animal Rights. Tells us of some of der activities.

KeeKee
Oh, dey shure is. Meowmie all da time trying to find homes fur kitties dat duzn't has any. She efun use da infurnet to finds homes furry far away. She always riting letfurs to help all da animals; but, mosely da kitties and efun D'gs!! I hear a d'g used to liff here, befur I mofed in; and, my big sisfurs luffed him. I neffur meeted a d'g.

Freya
Me eiffur. Keekee, I've saved dah moss impurrtant fur da last. Tells 'bout yur sweet winkwink Mimi. Duz yu two haff any plans to 'ties dat knot'.

KeeKee
Oh yes, dis furry impurrtant. Has mew effur seed da luffly and talented Mimi, my beluved wink wink? She furry beautiful.

Freya
She sure is. I seed a pichure of her on yur homepage. She's a bootifur tuxedo.

KeeKee
I meeted her on a chat list fur kitties onliest; but, I hafed to wait til she wuz one years old to purrpose. We wuz hasing an online Kentucky Fried Chicken party when I asked for her paw and she said "yes". Dat da happiest day of my life. We duzn't has purrlans fur our wedwink, jes yet, cuz we hasing so much fun jes being wink winks; but, I luff her furry much.

Freya
Yu two makes a luffly couple. Thank you so much for allowing me to interview yu, KeeKee. I is sorry dat our time is up cuz you and I just cud talks all nite, I bet. It has been just super interviewing you.

KeeKee
Oh no, fank mew, Freya. Mew da bestest repurrter dere is!!

Freya
Wells - gee - thank a lot, KeeKee. Dat is sure nice of you to says dat.