KeeKee Interviews Chuck

KeeKee:
Meoweee Chuck! This is a great place you have. I sure want to
fank mew for letting me interview you here.

Chuck:
I'm thrilled. I've never been interviewed befur.

KeeKee:
Did mew decorate the tunnel by yourself?

Chuck:
Yeth, I did. Well ... two uncles helped. We got it all
wholethale. Dith tunnel haff been redone two times.
I haff lots of decorating talent. Bedder dan Fweya.
Look at how plain da Back Fence ith.

KeeKee:
I might as well get the most obvious questions over with first.
Everyone wants to know what it's like to be
Freya's slave.....um, er, I mean assistant!!

Chuck:
Fweya's thlave ??? No way !!! I help her out now an then
around da fenth. But only when I really want to.
When Fweya gets dat look in her eye,
I try to hideout in my tunnel. I ken hide out dere fur days.

KeeKee
That's cool, Chuck. Mew must have a big stash of food.
That reminds me. I didn't eat lunch.
Do mew have any turkeymeat?

Chuck:
Gee, Keek, I don't haff any turkeymeat.
How bout dandelion greens?

KeeKee:
Well, just forget the turkeymeat.
Let's get back to Freya!

Chuck
Yeth ... Fweya .... hum, ... well, Keek ... err ... haff
yu ever noticed dat Fweya ith all da time broke?
If thee didn't borrow frum me all da time,
I'd be a millionair. Fank goodneth
fur my relatiffs helping me out.

KeeKee:
I sure know what mew mean. Sara is always taking my
credick card and charges and uses up all the credick
and never pays the bill. I wish I had relatives
or at least tunnels to hide in - or maybe just
hide my credick card in!!

Chuck:
Hey bud. You ken hide out here anytime.

KeeKee:
Thanx pal! We all know the story about how you got to
live here, at the Back Fence Cat Club, but we
really don't know where you came from.

Chuck:
I liffed in Ohio at da Rethcue Ranch. I came all da way
frum dere - all in tunnels. Keek - it ith juth like
an underground freeway. An all da groundhogs
invite yu in fur dinner an overnite.
I wuth gonna go to California. But I looked out of da tunnel
here at the Back Fence and ... juth never left.

KeeKee:
If mew had come to Catifurnia, mew cud have lived in my
yard!! Maybe mew'll make a tunnel to Catifurnia some
day just so we can visit back and forth!
Of course mew would have to make it
catly sized.......mewhehe

Chuck:
Wat a gurreat idea, Keek. Maybe my brofurs ken help
me make dat tunnel.

KeeKee:
I understand you have a very large family - how many brofurs
and sisfurs do you have?

Chuck:
Oh lots an lots of dem. Let me thee. I haff prolly 27 brofurs - maybe even more. Der ith John, Charles, Joe, Tom, Donald, Jack, Dan, Jeff, Dave, James, Kevin, Matt, Gary, Tim, Fred 1, Fred2, Fred3, Brad, Bob, Lou ....
... are yu keeping track, Keek?

KeeKee:
Yep, I am recording this whole interview so I don't forget
anything. Counting sisters and uncles and aunties and
cousins, all your relatives, how many would you say
there are, total? Is it a hundred or five
hundred, or five mllion???

Chuck:
Umm ... bout .. five - dat big five number.

KeeKee:
Do you get to see your parents very often?
Are they groundhogs, like you?

Chuck:
Hahaha ... thometimes I feel like my folks were cats.
Affur all, Keek, all my frens are cats.

KeeKee:
Do your all your relatives have cool places, like this one?

Chuck:
Thome do. Thome don't. An der are tunnels much bigger
dan dith tunnel. Like in NYC - under the subways der are
tunnels. In fact it's faster to travel through our tunnels dan
to take the subway. Haff yu heard of Buckinham Palace?
It's modeled affur my Great, Great, Great Grandmother
Elizabeth's underground tunnel palace.

KeeKee:
When you're not working for Freya, and not visiting with your
enormous family, what other things do mew like to do?
Do mew have toys?

Chuck:
Most of all I like to work on my tunnel. An I travel.
I'm gonna go back to Ohio fur awhile.
Thomeone in Ohio poured concrete over many tunnels.
I'm gonna help my buddies dig thome new ones.

KeeKee:
That sounds like work, ..... but what do mew do for fun?

Chuck:
Well, Keek, remember when Fweya wrecked her motorbike
and it went into the lake? Hahaha.... tho funny !!! I pulled
dat bike out of da water and fixed it up. An remembur,
Keek, dat Fweya don't know bout it at all. Mums da word.
Effury weekend I go riding around.
Wanta go wiff me thometime?

KeeKee:
Wow Chuck! That sounds like fun. Can both of us fit on the
motorbike or should I bring my pink catillac, too? Will my
catillac fit in the tunnels? Will I even fit in those
tunnels. I'm a pretty tall kitty.

Chuck:
No problem, Keek. We ken make tunnels as big as yu want.
Haff yu herd about the English Channel dat goes under the ocean?
Ole timers in my family built dat.

KeeKee:
I wanna see all these hysterical - um, er, I mean historical
tunnels. Can we go on your motorbike?

Chuck:
Oh gurreat. Let's goooooooo!!!

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