Adorable Ashley

by Henri of Twin Brook

Henri: How old were you when you joined this household?
Ashely: I was a very young pup when our persons discovered me at a shelter. I was just the most beautiful, adorable canine they had ever seen and just had to adopt me, or rather I had to adopt them, so they wouldn't return home to an empty desolate life without my presence. Everyone in this household benefited greatly after I came to live with them. (....not everyone. Tonya can't stand her!)

Henri: Were you surprised when you learned that there were cats living in this house?
Frankly, I was shocked! However was I going to live with a bunch of cats? Cats can be so unfeeling and so uncultured! It took me many months of careful planning and lessons to teach them something about civilized behavior. Even now I must constantly monitor their antics. And they still insist on using a litter pan rather than using the great outdoors which was put there for our use!

Henri: What is your favorite pastime?
I like to read and spend a good deal of time keeping up on the news about the economy and various political issues. I go to the dog park on a regular basis to oversee the park and keep other dogs posted on upcoming events. All the dogs who go to the dog park look up to me as an authority on the subject.

Henri: How much do you weigh?
I do not wish to bark about that! That is just as bad as asking a bitch about her age. It just isn't done in polite society. For the record, I am just three years old!
(Ashley is eight years old if a day.......)

Henri: Has any dog among your friends suggested that you go on a diet?
No dog would dare ask me how much I weighed! I have a perfect body! Perfect ears! Perfect tail! Every female dog envies me my extraordinary beauty!

Henri: Have you taken part in any contests?
I have been entered in many contests and have won them all. I have hundreds of trophies displayed in the living room and in the bedroom!

Henri: Have you won any contests?
Don't you listen to what I have been barking, Henri? I have won thousands of contests! (Ashley has never won a contest of any kind. She never learned to play "run and fetch. She can barely "shake paws". I shall meow no more.....)

What do you think about our persons?
Our persons are okay but really need more training in how to behave and treat a prize winning canine like myself. The house could be bigger, my bed could be larger and softer and the food rations could be larger and contain more sirloin steaks and other niceties.

What would you do if our persons decided that they didn't want any of us anymore? Where would you go then?
They might very well get rid of you cats. They could not survive on the earth without me! Where would I go if that should happen? Why I would walk down the street and bark on any door. Most of the humans who live there would be more than delighted to have me as a permanent guest.

What do other dogs think about you? Are you popular among the dog population of this town?
Am I popular with other dogs!? Silly cat! Every dog in Hamden is crazy about me or insanely jealous of my rare and exotic beauty! Each year I am given "The Most Popular Dog in Hamden" award. The mayor of the town delivers it to our door himself! Is this the end of the interview? I could go on for a few more pages. and pages and pages...(I have never seen any of these awards that Ashley mentioned and I have never seen the mayor on our doorstep either. Frankly, I cannot go on for pages and pages.....)

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