I put up a photo just to keep you cats quiet!

This big bird is a peacock hen. The boy peacocks have long tails which are big and fluffy. When they want to show off, the put their tails up and prance around like a bunch of clowns. I wouldn't want a tail like that! Max, my next door tail has a big fluffy tail but I wouldn't want his tail either. When I asked the hen why she didn't have a big tail she just looked at me as if I didn't have a brain in my head. "Look," she squawks, "I've got kids to take care of in case you haven't noticed! I have to vacuum the dirt, do the laundry, cook meals and groom the babies! Why would I need a tail which would be very heavy and awkward to drag around? Let the boys have the big feathers sticking out of their butts! They just sit around and play cards anyway. Not good for anything else, really. Oh yeah, the big guy strutting around over there is the father of these kids. He owes me five weeks of child support...."

I moved on...

I took a few more photographs and then I met Clarence and his person. We stopped to have a drink of water. Clarence held the bottle for me but most of the liquid ran down my chin onto my chest. I then held the bottle for Clarence and the same thing happened to him. We were pretty wet pussy cats! We should have let Clarence's person hold the bottle, but we were trying to show how independent we are..We separated again and I went off by myself to see the rest of zoo residents. I approached one of the fenced in areas and my heart stopped beating! My breath came in gasps. Before, behind the fence was the most beautiful queen I have ever seen! My ears flamed! Slowly I approached the enclosure. Slowly, her majestic head turned toward me.

"Oh, beauiful Queen! Will you be mine forever!" I stammered, my meow sounding like a raspy frog.
"Not a chance, Buster!" she growled. I was stunned! She had rejected my pleas! She had done so without knowing the purity of my soul (my soul is pure because I had that little operation, you know)

"Could we not twine our spirits together and bask in the glory of new found love and nurture our minds in everlasting bliss?" (That line used to work with the queens in the neighborhood.) She turned her majestic head and gazed into my eyes.

"Bug off, kitty cat! If we tried to twine together you would be in kitty heaven, for pete's sake! I am more than one hundred pounds heavier than you are and my front paw is as big as your head! That doesn't really make for romantic interludes, you know!"

"We could work on it," I suggested. "Perhaps we could share a can of tuna fish together, under the stars and get acquainted? You could have my catnip and my toys!" I suggested.

"I'm not crazy about tuna fish and getting acquainted with a squirt like you does not exactly fill my heart with desire. Please be a good kitty cat and run along!" she growled. Then her gaze fastened on something behind me. Her eyes were bright with cheerful greeting! "Clarence! You came back to see me, you dear pussycat!"

CLARENCE! CLARENCE! My heart thumped! I turned around slowly. There, just a few feet away was my buddy Clarence of Belden! "What are you doing here, Clarence?" I demanded.

"I came to say goodbye to Daphne. Why? What's the matter? My person wants to go home and we should meet him in the parking lot in ten minutes. By the way, Daphne, have you met my pal Henri of Twin Brook?"



"Unfortunately, yes I have. You will write when you get home won't you Clarence, dear?" Daphne's purr was like thunder.

"You bet I will, you gorgeous creature!" Clarence pulled a tuff of fur from his chest and threw it at Daphne. "Try to be a good girl now, Daphne!"

We walked together for a few minutes. Then I stopped. Clarence looked at me. He looked confused. "What's the matter, Henri? You look unhappy."

"I fell madly in love with Daphne and wanted to share my life with her. I offered her tuna fish and my catnip. She wanted nothing to do with me and told me to get lost," I meowed. "You come along and she wants you to write to her. I don't understand queens."

Clarence shrugged his shoulders. "She found me charming. She found me intelligent and I made her laugh. So we exchanged e-mail addresses. That's all."

"You exhanged e-mail addresses? She didn't ask for my e-mail address!" I howled.

"Face it Pussycat! She's just not into you!"



Escape by patting me on the head!