News That Could Have Warmed the Heart of This Tom Cat!
December 3, 2007
As you all know, when Tonya, a former resident of the New Haven Animal Shelter had decided to make her home in my house on Twin Brook Road, my life and the lives of my housemates changed dramatically. Tonya is a big kitty with opinions that match her gigantic butt and paws. When she meows, a cat had better listen carefully. She claims to know everything. She is an authority on all things and has even hinted that she, and she alone was in charge of New Haven's animal shelter. Under her direction and care, she personally trained and supervised the entire staff and kept the dog and cat residents knowledgeable and obedient to each and every shelter rule and regulation.
"Since you were so important and indispensable, why did you leave?" hissed Helen. "I'm surprised that the shelter wasn't forced to close down after you left."
Tonya growled. "My expert training techniques left the shelter in good paws, I'll have you know!"
Helen raised her lip in a sneer. "I'm sure they will rename the shelter in your honor!" I left the room then, unwilling to get involved in a discussion which could harm an innocent and defenseless tom cat like myself.
That day, however, the sun did shine upon my soul! The newsletter from the New Haven Animal Shelter arrived in the early afternoon mail. Carefully, I opened the envelope and peered at the printed pages. There on the front page was Tonya's name. Eagerly I read the paragraph. My heart soared with glee! I rushed into the living room, the pages clutched tightly to my chest. Tonya glared at me. "What's your problem, cat!" she demanded.
"According to this newsletter from the animal shelter, you, Tonya had bad teeth and had to go to the cat dentist to have your teeth and gums cleaned! And I bet the cat dentist had to pull quite a few of them too. Imagine that!," I purred. "Tonya has rotten teeth! Did you hear that, Helen? Tonya is a toothless old cat hag!"
I am safe as long as I stay in the basement, out of Tonya's sight. It isn't too bad. I stole a few towels from the pile and stuffed them into the space between the top loading freezer and the wall. There is water, food and a litter box within easy reach. No television, however, so I miss my favorite programs. Helen and Sidney brought me fresh plastic bags with ice cubes to place against my wounded whiskers and reduce the swelling. Tonya has paws which can move at the speed of light!
Clarence of Belden appraised the situation and will try to negotiate a treaty between me and the irate Tonya. Do pray for me, loyal friends. I would like to get upstairs to see the Christmas tree!