My Interview With a Gainfully Employed Cat Named Jane
As Raymond Hazelwitz, rodent activist has often demonstrated, there are many advantages to being relatively small, very slender and agile and quick on one's feet. "There was a time when I had been called upon to investigate strange meowing coming from a store in the plaza. Since I am part of the block watch committee, it was my duty to investigate."
"And what did you find, besides a cat who didn't have enough sense to go home and not bother the neighbors?" I meowed
Raymond smoothed his whiskers. "To tell you the truth, it was only last week when I was called upon to investigate the strange meows, Pussycat. And yes, I did find a kitty, but she is no ordinary kitty."
"You don't say....?" I growled. "Are you pulling my tail again, Raymond?" I made a playful swat at his head. He ducked.
Raymond shook his head and grinned at me, showing those formidable white fangs of his. "Not at all, Henri! This is really hard to believe but I found this remarkable kitty named Jane. Believe it or not, she is a store's security cat! Can you imagine?"
I was astonished! A real, live security cat! I gasped with amazement. "Where?" I demanded. "What is the name of the store and where on earth is it located?"
Raymond wrinkled his nose at me. "Aha! I captured your interest, have I not? The store is located on planet Earth and is in the Plaza. The name of the store is DAVA. Would you like me to take you there?"
"Well yes!" I growled. "Would you really? I would love to meet her! She doesn't sound like any ordinary queen to me!"
Raymond pulled on his whiskers. "Okay, Pussycat....I'll meet you on the corner of Belden and Baker, tonight at ten o'clock P.M. The store doesn't close until nine o'clock and I'm sure Jane will want to freshen up after she has had her dinner...."
I said 'goodbye' to Raymond Hazelwitz, rushed inside the house and began a serious grooming of my whiskers, fur and toenails. Helen eyed me suspiciously as I carefully washed my tail and feet. "Heavy date tonight Henri?" she meowed, giving me a paw on the the head.
I sniffed at her as I trimmed a toenail. "I am going to meet a cat who works as a security guard at a famous store here in Hamden."
"Sounds interesting....Tell me all about it when you get home." She returned to the living room, punched a button on the television set and sat down on the couch. "I want to watch "Dancing With the Stars". It's my favorite program."
A few hours later, Raymond and I arrived at the Plaza and the store. Raymond scratched at the back door of the establishment. We waited a few moments and then heard the soft thud of the doorlock. The door swung open. She stood there in the doorway, a quizzical look upon her face. This was Jane! She was not a young cat and rather ordinary in looks but there was a radiance about this creature. She knew she was important.
Quickly, Raymond explained our quest. "Henri here would like to interview you about your job. Can he come in and meow with you?"
Jane shrugged her shoulders. "It's no fur off my back, Raymond. If he's your friend then he is a friend of mine...What's your name honey?" Her eyes met mine. My heart began to flutter. I hadn't felt this way for many years.
I stammered, "It's Henri, Henri of Twin Brook."
She pointed her paw at a large round cushion. We both sat down and she began to meow. "I've been a security cat since the week I arrived at this store. I was homeless, pretty ill and very hungry. The owner took me in, carried me over to the cat doctor where I was given shots, antibiotics and great food. After leaving me at the doctor's place, the person came back in a few days and brought me back to this store. I was allowed to go wherever I wished and meow to all the persons who came through the front door. I really needed a good pet! They seemed to think well of me. I had a warm bed, really great cuisine and loving persons around me every day."
"I can see why you would decided to stay here, but when did you become a security cat?" I purred. "That's a very important job!"
"During the day, I had plenty of opportunity to observe the persons who came in through the door and roam around the store, touching and looking at the tags which were attached to the fabrics. When a person picked up a fabric and looked very closely at it, I watched them most carefully! When I thought I had noticed something suspicious, I quickly notified my persons so they would be aware of what might be going on...I then decided that when the store is crowded, I should climb on top of one of the cabinets so I have an unobstructed view of the premises."
"What a smart cat you are but that requires a lot of patience on your part, watching all those humans milling about... I'm not sure I could concentrate that hard for such a long time," I meowed. "What do you do for fun?"
Jane licked her front paws and then smoothed her whiskers. "My most important duty in this life is to protect the store. But I also lead customers to goods which haven't sold too well. I make a big fuss over the person, rubbing against their legs and offering them my head to pet which puts them in a better mood to buy. The more they buy of what is in the store, the more food in my dish. You get the idea, Henri?"
I nodded. "I suppose you discuss the type of fabric and the style, price and color with the customers?" What a smart cat, I thought.
Jane shook her head. "I have never met a customer who could understand meow! That's very sad, don't you think, Henri?" She jumped down from the cushion, disappeared for a few minutes then returned with a small foil packet. "I think you will like these, Herni," she purred. "These are loaded with vitamins and minerals." I put one in my mouth, bit down and began to purr more loudly. They were really good!
Jane settled down on the cushion and continued the story of her life as a security cat. "When I'm tired or need a little diversion, I go into the front window and sit among the fabrics and things which are on display. I try out different poses to see which one's are cuter and more attention getting.......It's fun to watch these persons' eyes when they see me getting really cute! They call my name and coo and wave their paws at me, as if I would care..."
"Actually, human persons don't have paws. They are called hands and feet," I growled.
"You mean persons have four feet and four hands? My that is very strange. No wonder they walk so funny!" she meowed, glancing at the clock. "Well this queen has to get to bed, Henri, if I am to report for work in the morning. So I have to say goodnight and I do hope you will come to see me again, you handsome brute!"
Raymond was outside the back door waiting for me. "Well, what did you think of Jane, the security cat, Pussycat?" He had that wicked little smile on his face. My legs seemed all weak and rubbery.
"I'm in love! I'm in love with Jane!"
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