Where Can a Dog Get a Tube with her Name Written on It?
I, Henri of Twin Brook had no idea that my housemate, Helen 
was using the computer when our persons were not around. After all, I have better things to do than spy on the cats and the dog which reside in our establishment. As long as there is good food in the bowl, fresh water available and a soft pillow, bed or chair to nap on, I am not going to complain. No sir! I had spent enough years of my life living under porches and raiding garbage cans to raise a meow in dissatisfaction about any aspect of my life. After all, how many cats can bring their friends into the house for a game of poker or a birthday party? I might mention, that one of my closest friends just happens to be a rat....but to get back to my story, I discovered that Helen, my roommate was using my persons computer when they were not around. She was also reading their e-mail, which is something I seldom do...
It seems that not only Helen was reading the e-mail but Ashley, our dog was also taking a peek! After one of her notorious 'peeks' she rushed from the computer room, wailing and howling in dispair! I thought perhaps, someone or something had threatened her life! (Occasionally, I have done so but not within the past two weeks...) I raced after her and confronted the mutt who had buried her head in my female person's pillow.
"What on earth is wrong with you, Ashley?" I growled.
"You wouldn't understand, Henri," she moaned.
"Try me," I demanded. "I really want to know what evil genius has brought you to this state of total agony."
"Ask Helen to show you that picture which is all over the internet! Then you'll know why I am so unhappy," Ashley barked. So I did just that. I hurried into the computer room and asked Helen to show me the photograph which had brought such misery to our dog, Ashley. A few taps with her paw and Helen displayed the image. And then I knew why......
I stared at the animal who sat so proudly in the rubber tube. "Nice looking pooch," I purred. "I can see why Ashley might be a little jealous......"
Helen shook her head. "She is not jealous of the dog named Rio. She is jealous that the dog named Rio has her own inner tube with her very own name written on it!" she growled. "Now she wants a tube like that and she wants it for Christmas!"
Ashley ran into the room. "And the dog Rio has a life jacket too. I need a tube and a life jacket!" she barked loudly.
"Why on earth would you need a tube and a life jacket, Ashley?" I meowed. "I happen to know that the dog named Rio is into white water tubing and rafting and needs a life jacket. Her persons have a house on the river."
Ashley sniffed. "We have a house on the river too! I can hear the water rushing past the bedroom window every night!"
"Ashley!" I growled. "That is a very small and shallow creek and it is more than a block away from this house."
"Well, it could overflow its banks and we would be forced to flee for our lives!" barked Ashley, her eyes glistening with anticipation. "A tube with my name printed on it would be very handy as I sail away and when I am rescued, the persons would know my name. And the life jacket will save my life in case I fall out of the tube, by accident....."
"What about us cats? What will we do? How can our lives be saved?" I asked.
Ashley thought about that for all of thirty seconds. "You cats can always climb a tree to get out of the deluge..."
"Since we live on a hill and it is doubtful that the water from the overflowing creek will every reach us.." I meowed. "It's doubtful that our persons will go out and purchase a tube with your name printed on it and it is doubtful that they will get you a life jacket since you have never really been near water outside of a bathtub and probably never will be....." It took me ten minutes to explain this to dog Ashley. That night it took the dog thirty minutes of barking at our persons in her futile attempt to convince them that her life depended on a rubber tube with her name on it and a life jacket in fashionable pink. It will be interesting to see the outcome of Ashley's moaning, groaning and whining. My persons will get her a new toy and she will forget all about the rubber tube and life jacket. By the way, the dog sitting in the rubber tube is named Rio and she/he resides in Seattle Washington. I understand she/he is a professor at a big university in that city....
