AT THE CAR WASH WITH CLARENCE!
Clarence came over to my house a few days ago and meowed at the back door. "Henri, my person wants to go for a drive to the home improvement store and said that I could go with him if I promise not to climb on any of the store's displays. Do you want to come along? I think the store carries some things you might be interested in having."
"Like what?" I asked. Although Clarence and I are close buddies, we don't always share the same interests.
Clarence smoothed his whiskers. "Like bird houses and bird baths and stuff like that. You never know that you might return to your former life and will require the skills that you had when you lived on the street."
"Those skills that I used when I lived on the streets had begun to fade at a very rapid rate, Clarence. That is one reason why I decided to become a house cat instead of remaining an alley cat. It is better to catch your dinner from a tin can than from dinner on the wing, if you get my meaning. Tin cans stay put. Birds don't and my reflexes are a little rusty," I explained.
Clarence shrugged his shoulders. "Then you can look at bird houses. Watching birds flitting around the garden is always fun. You can pretend, can't you?"
I decided to join Clarence and then he told me that we would be going to the car wash. "What is a car wash?" I meowed.
"I have no idea," replied Clarence. "but bring your camera. I'm sure it will be worth photographing."
So Clarence and I went shopping with his person. We sat in the back seat of the automobile and watched the scenery flash by. I took a few pictures, none of which were memorable and then I got really sleepy and my friend and I took a nap.
I have no idea how long we napped, but when we awakened, we were at the car wash! There were quite a few other automobiles in line waiting to have the dirt and salt washed away. I grabbed my camera and waited until the automobiles began to move forward. Soon, we were entering the mysterious cavern.
It was truly frightening! Clarence clung to me. "We are going to die," he wailed loudly. My paws shook as I tried to take a picture. Eager to photograph my last moments on earth, I jumped into the front seat. Clarence jumped after me.
"Look Clarence, if we are going to die, at least help me get some good pictures of our demise, which no doubt will be published in every newspaper in the country as well as all over the internet. Help me hold the camera steady!"
"Yes, I can see the headlines," meowed Clarence. "Cats Perish in Car Wash! Cat's person charged with reckless catacide and will face life imprisonment!"Big mops shot out and began to slap the sides of our automobile. I leaned against the dashboard to brace myself as I released the shutter over and over again. Clarence held onto my legs so I wouldn't fall. We could hear the deluge of water pouring over the windshield and hood. I held my breath and continued to take photographs.Then the unthinkable happened! Clarence's right hind foot stepped on the arm rest attached to the automobile's door. On the arm rest is a button. When the button is pressed the window which is part of the door goes up and down. At that moment, the window began to slid downward. Gallons of soapy water rushed through the opening! The seat was flooded, Clarence was drenched, I was scrubbed clean by the big mops and our person took an unscheduled shower! Clarence began to hiss and shriek, I began to howl and scream! Clarence's person began to make the most unforgettable sounds! Never before have I heard a human being howl! Never before have I heard a human being growl! This moment in my life was truly unique! At that moment I did not believe Clarence nor I would live to relate this truly horrific experience. Since we are both cats of strength and purpose, we have survived the great automobile flood of February 22, 2007. In our minds, that day will go down in feline history!
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