Back Fence Cat Club

N EWSLETTER

INTERVIEWING QUEEN BITSY

 

Journalist Freya Brings You Interviews of Interesting Cats and Internet News   Dis is Ace Repurrter Freya bringing yus an eggclusive interview with Queen Bitsy. Yu will learn bout being royal and inside-castle sekrets - straight frum her majestic mouff. [Freya] Queen Bitsy, what is yur full royal name? I shud knows it, but I keeps furgetting it since it's so long. [Bitsy] Her Most Esteemed and Adored Royal Majesty, Queen Elisabit June di Edoardi! [Freya] Well, no wonders dat I forgets it. I can't even spells it - and I'm a reely gude speller. Is der a simplier way to address yu? [Bitsy] Just as any Queen wishes to be addressed -- "Your Majesty" or "O Gracious Queen", anything of that nature! [Freya] Okay Dookay, Yur Majestee. I wuz wonderin, when yu wuz an itsy bitsy kitty, did yu know yu were gonna be a Queen? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] I knew I was to be a Queen from the moment of my birth. That is why I fought to survive when my siblings went to the bridge -- I did not wish to miss the oppurrtunity of ruling! [Freya] Oh Bitsy, dat wuz so sad reading bout yur wee liddle brofurs and sisfurs. Thank goodness yu survived. I guess you're really strong. I luffed reading bout yur nicknames. I'd luff to calls you Beedy-beeps. Dat is so cutsie. [Gracious Queen Bitsy] Freya!!! I am shocked at your lack of sensitivity. A Queen is NOT cutsie. That silly nickname is fine for a wee kitten, but certainly NOT NOW. Good gracious, girl, you should really know better. I'm going to have to talk to Master Henry about your lack of social graces. [Freya] Gulp ... oh dears ... I is so sorry. Since yu wuz a queen frum birth, I bets yu were treated extra special. [Most Esteamed Queen Bitsy] Oh, indeed I was! My human, and even other members of the furmily treated me as something purrecious. My human still does, but not the other cats--except purrhaps poor Samuall, who does not know any better! [Freya] Did yu haff to go to Queen School to learn to be so bossy? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] What? School? Never! My Queenly traits are inborn! [Freya] My oh my. Just imagine! So wats it like being a growed up Queen? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] I have many responsibilities. Just maintaining my extensive staff costs innumerable samoleons a year. The royal budget is stretched many directions. Also, a Queen is, in a way, the servant of her subjects. [Freya] Duz yu haff to travel round yur kingdom - rememfurs, like Queen Elizabeth I did? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] My dear, you would not believe the number of miles I travel each day, paying visits to the homes of my subjects who have requested awards, and looking fur future Oscat nominees . (If they want one of the better awards, they should make sure I am on their Links page befur I visit!) [Freya] links? ... hmmm ... cud yu excuse me a minute, puleeze? (Psst, Henny. go see if we haff links to her pages up at da Club. Hurry!!! ) Fangu fur waiting, Yur Most Gracious Queen. I luffs learning about being royal. Does all yur subjects bows tu yu? Duz yu insists on dem bowing and cow-cowing - yu knows, dem fings? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] Always!! [Freya] Wat if dey don't? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] I overlook it - but only when I am in a good mood! Otherwise they might lose their heads! [Freya] Oh my gosh ... {gulp} ... Du dey ... {gasp} ... du dey ... {choke} ... Du..u..uu ... [Mostest High an Mighty Queen Bitsy] Whatever is the matter, Freya? [Freya] Wh... whu... whys - nothing at all - {cough, cough} - Yur Most Wonderfurr Gracious Queen In All Da World. Wud yu recommends dat yur subjects and even good frens like me crawl on our tummies wheneffur we approaches yu? Wud dat be safe .. an .. an ... an ... wud it be pleasing tu yu ... an .. an .. wells .. wud .. wud we liff? [Mostest High An Mighty An Happy An Amiable Queen Bitsy] I should think it the safe thing to do, although it is not obligatory. [Freya] Is dis groveling enuf? [Mostest High An Mighty An Happy An Amiable Queen Bitsy] That will do very nicely, Freya, but be careful and don't overturn my reticule! Well, my dear, what else would you like to know about me? You may rise befur speaking. [Freya] I haff noticed dat yu allas haff a reticule. Wat duz yu carry in it? Yur scepter? Yur lipstick? Yur royal seal? Kleenix? Charge cards? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] I carry a reticule because it is the thing to do! A good, sturdy, capacious reticule is a must when one is out and about! One never knows when one might need a quick snack, a number of which can be stored in the reticule --also, one can use it to bring home leftovers from parties, banquets, etc., fur later snacking. [Freya] Will yu compare yur self wid another Queen - say Queen Elizabeth II. [Bestest Queen Bitsy in da World] I'm sure she carries a reticule as I cannot imagine a Queen without one! You may have noticed also that she is never seen without headgear of some type. [Freya] Yu dresses just likes a queen - sort of dowde ... oops, I means yu, Yur Most Gracious Queen, dresses royally. Where oh where, duz yu get yur royal robes? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] They are usually thrown up on the Royal Sewing Machine by the Royal Designer, although I sometimes wear creations by Stardust, the head designer at Tiffennee's Secrets. [Freya] Ken anyone shops der - even a commoner likes me? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] You may shop at Tiffennee's Secrets any time you wish. She is my Aunt, so you may tell her Bitsy sent you. [Freya] Oh, fangu, fangu. I'm so thrilled. I'd luff a red cape wid ermine trim. Cuds I get dat der? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] You might ask Stardust to design one especially fur you. Her mailing address is at the shop. If she cannot do it, my Royal Designer will create one fur you. [Freya] I luff going to Ye Castle Mall on Saturdays wiff Peaches, Smudgie, Tessie and offur gurl frens. We haff so much fun. Always something noo der. I gots a Potted Kitty at Teeny's Shop of Potted Kitties It really looks gude in my room. An I've visited yur Booteek and Sam's Trift Shoppe. I took some old things in, but he wud not buys dem. He said dey were nots royal. Dere are so many preddy things at yur mall I wuz hoping to gets a few samoleons. Speaking of samoleons du yu effur pay samoleons fur interviews? [Gracious Queen Bitsy] WHAT? PAY? How crass, Freya!!! How common? Of course a QUEEN DOES NOT PAY !!! A QUEEN NEVER NEVER PAYS !!! [Freya] Oops ... I wuz just joking - a joke, Yur Gracious Highest Majestic - I wuz just kidding around. I didn't mean it, really. Silly, silly me! [Think, Freya, think fast] It's MY privilege to interview yu. An I will be eternally indebted tu yu. Yur Majesty, I wuz gonna ask how yu subjegate someone, but I think I know now. But, still, let us purrsue dis subject just a liddle further. How duz yu keeps Sammeye so survile? [Mostest Refeared Queen Bitsy] With a good swat now and then from an iron paw! [Freya] Hmmms ... I tried dat wid Henry an he just bopped me. Yurs Refeared Majestic, I haff learned a lots bout royalty frum yu - prolly bout as much as I ken stand fur one day. I sure appreciates yur taking yur royal time tu du dis interview. It haff been mostly a pleasure. Fangu very much.   UPDATES Offur da years I haff gotted tu know Bitsy bedder. She haff become a gude fren an iz a real good sport. I'd like tu share wiff yu pichures of her which reveals her casual and fun luffing side.   In Bitsy's furst outfit, she iz disguised as a linesman in The Search Her second outfit shows Bitsy's Wild Side The third picture shows the maternal side of Bitsy serving lemonade at Bitsy's Whackers vs Revoltin Boyz   Index to the Latest Parties and Events Sponored by her Queenship A Page fur Ole Hot Stuff Bitsy Created by An Ardent Armirer     * * * * * * * * * * * FREYA'S AWARDS * * * * * * * * * * * I is sooooo purroud of my awards. Awarded to Best Cat Reporter Freya by Snuggles Awarded to Freya for outstanding journalistic work by Tissy